


i'd walk through fire for you

by catkkunoanti



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Awkward Flirting, Christmas, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Moving In Together, Slice of Life, This is so soft, the author tried the best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:00:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28288107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catkkunoanti/pseuds/catkkunoanti
Summary: Sykkuno comes home in hopes to find something he has been missing in life. Corpse might be that something.
Relationships: Corpse Husband/Sykkuno (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 25
Kudos: 544





	i'd walk through fire for you

**Author's Note:**

> For my friend! I love you the most. Merry Christmas! <3

Time is a tricky bitch. And if someone knows this, it’s Sykkuno. It always seems to surprise him when he the least expects it.

So several hours later when his plane is landing in New York, it feels both like breathing out and a punch in the throat. Time is a tricky bitch and not a magician like young doe-eyed Sykkuno hoped. He hoped that in the past three years in London are going to magically pave him to good and successful life.

Guess fucking what. Time didn’t magically solve shit.

Sykkuno landing in New York means going back home, to the place that raised him and shaped him. It’s not like he is much of a “settling-down” person, so he took going back to NY just as another rest point on his never ending way of finding the right place in the world. Isn’t that what we are all doing, after all?

Airport both embraces him like a warm hug and swallows him like a venomous cobra all at once. September sun warms his cheeks and blinds his eyes and oh, _welcome home._

His mom and sister are waiting by the gate and okay, he might have missed his family more than he realized till that moment. After he is suffocated with two pairs of arms, he loads the car with all the stuff he owns and off they go.

“Are you hungry?” His mom asks, the radio filing the tiny car with noise.

“Yeah, I am.”

“I made your favorite meal.” She turns to him slightly, eyes still glued to the road.

“Can’t wait,” He smiles, turning is head to the window to watch the familiar scenery.

The drive home is more joyful and calmer than he predicted. Sometimes, you gotta expect the worst so stuff can be actually nice. Sykkuno could write essays about that kind of mentality. In the back of his mind bubbles the fight he had with his parents before he left to London. He shivers. It’s a memory that sneaks up to him and vibe checks him at the most unwanted thoughts. He tries to shut it down and focus on his sister talking about her new boyfriend. Sykkuno knows all of this from Skype calls, but it seems like the perfect distraction.

His childhood home seems all the same. The stairs to the flat are still narrow as hell, the elevator is somehow permanently broken and the walls are still this murky grayish color. Late August rays are filling the flat that seems to be still the same. The same photos on the wall, the same table Sykkuno split his chin open when he was six, the same plants on the windowsill.

He can barely drag his suitcases to his room before his phone starts ringing. The ID shows “Lily” and Sykkuno smiles.

“YOU ARE HOME!” She yells instead of hello. “Hell yeah I am!” Sykkuno says and sits down on his bed. It’s bit firmer than he remembers from his last visit home. The shelves are dusty and his one poster seems to fall down from the wall, but other than that, it seems like his room got stuck in the time. Maybe time, the bitch, is a magician after all.

“Dude we have to go out. Like now. Like this very fucking moment. I missed you so much.” She says, her tone like an excited puppy, but it’s irking Sykkuno in the wrong way. He sighs. He loves Lily like hell, and of _course_ he missed her but…socializing is just cutting it for him right now. He feels his chest getting tighter and before it gets too much, he opens his window to let the fresh air in.

“Look, Lils…I wanna spend more time with my family now, okay? But we can hangout next week,” he promises through gritted teeth in hopes that she eats the lies and leaves him alone.

“Of course,” she says and doesn’t believe him a single word he’s saying. The downside of being perceived and having best friends. They hang up after he promises her to hangout as soon as possible. she wants to get their little gang together and honestly, Sykkuno couldn’t stop her even if he tried.

He places the phone on his night table. In the grand scheme of things, he really didn’t think shit through, cause he himself condemned to have a _lovely_ evening with his family. Maybe the drinks would have been fucking superb right now, but family dinner time it is.

He walks down the stairs he walked million times. Seeing his dad’s shoes by his mother’s flats spikes the adrenaline in his body. He can do this, he is very much grown and he being told by his parents that he is failing in life is just one more time replay of their well-practiced monologues.

“Hi dad,” he says, walking into the kitchen. His dad gives him a warm smile and gives him probably the most awkward hug. Out of his parents, his mom was always more heavy on the physical touch than his dad. The hope that things won’t go to shit lives on, but it’s buried deeply under the 50 shitty scenarios that Sykkuno had planned in his head. 

The dinner is good, his mom’s cooking is unbeatable, but the conversation? Fucking unbearable.The clock seems to be even more loud and overwhelming than he remembers. Sykkuno glares in its direction and he can once again confirm that time is, in fact, a bitch.

“So Th-“ his dad stars and Sykkuno turns his head towards him. Maybe it will be all flowers and rainbows and his parents will understand that he is _just a bit lost_ in life. It happens to everyone! It’s completely normal.

“What are you planning to do now?” Ah, there it is. The slightly poisoned tone in his dad’s voice. It’s bitter and biting and Sykkuno feels it crawling, seeping under his skin. He wants to disappear this very moment.

“Please, can we talk about this after dinner?” His mom jumps sharply into the conversation, voice honeyed with fake nicety. She is trying her best to be the Switzerland, the neutral ground, but Sykkuno knows she will always end up siding with his dad.

“I am just asking him! There is _nothing_ wrong with a question!” His dad raises his voice and yup, here we fucking go.

“I…don’t really know. I am still bit tired, you know, jet-lag. But I’m going to look for jobs as soon as possible.” Sykkuno feels like he is twelve and needs to explain to his family why he came home 20 minutes after his curfew. He is a grown man, for fuck’s sake.

“Good. That’s….good. I could put a word for you at our company…” His dad lowers his head into his potatoes and Sykkuno would rather sold his organs and ship himself to Antarctica rather than work under the supervision of his father.

“Thank you dad. I’ll look through some offers online tomorrow.” There is saccharine smile on his lips and his teeth is gritted and _holy shit_ this is like doing cartwheels in the deepest parts of hell. He is sure the next thing his dad mumbled sounds lot like “You could have done that already…” but Sykkuno is stronger than that. Wiser than that. No longer a child like that who would make a snarky comment and then dramatically storm out from the dinner table. It seems like his parents are still thinking of him as a child, and this is his chance to prove that he is no longer the hormonal teenager they see him as. He bites his tongue to the point where he is sure he can taste his own blood and eating the rest of the dinner feels like chewing on damn cardboard.

“I’m glad you are home baby, you know that, right?” His mom says while cleaning the dishes afterwards. She pats his hair and Sykkuno smiles.

“Yeah mom. I know.”

Does he really?

Lying in his bed, he makes a decision: he needs to find a place on his own, and he needs to do it quickly. He feels shitty that he doesn’t have a job, but being taken as a child every single night? He knows his dad is gonna nudge him every day to the point of insanity and Sykkuno didn’t come to NY to lose his damn mind. Actually the exact opposite, he had enough of losing his mind while being in England.

Lily jumps on him to the point where they both nearly fall to the sidewalk.

“You are here! For real! And for good!” She is basically squealing and Sykkuno is hugging her back with all the damn love he has in his body. Lily, the unstoppable force, organized a small get together in a tiny bar where Sykkuno hasn’t been in years. Every time he came home for holidays, it was just family torture and than long walk with Lily where she told him all the gossip about the friends Sykkuno kinda cared about. But bars? Clubbing? If it wasn’t for Lily, Sykkuno would flee the damn scene. Lily was the social butterfly that helped him get out of his shell a bit and for that, he will forever be grateful.

“Come on, it’s gonna be fun! It’s just the five of us!” She was holding his hand way more firmly than it was necessary, but Sykkuno couldn’t blame her. He did ran away from some parties in college last minute.

In the little booth, Toast and Rae were already waving at them. Sykkuno broke into smile as they both rushed to hug him. A wave of familiarity washed over him, it really felt like rewinding time back and they were just out on a Friday. Even though Sykkuno was much of a “lazy night in” kinda guy.

“I’ll go order, you sit down!” Lily yelled at him before she ran to the bartender. Sykkuno sat down and let himself surrender under the avalanche of Rae’s questions and Toast’s comments. Lily brought drinks and sat down and that’s when Sykkuno realized, there is one too many drink. She said _five_ , not four.

“Hey Lils, who’s the-“

“Hey guys! Sorry I’m late,” is ringing next to him and _holy shit._

_No fucking way._

“Corpse! You made it! Look who’s back!” She points at Sykkuno and suddenly Corpse is leaning in and giving him a side hug.

“It’s really nice to see you again, man.” He says and sits down next to him.

Pause.

Rewind.

Stop.

This is _not_ the Corpse that Sykkuno remembers. Damn, this might not even be the Corpse that Sykkuno knows, wasn’t it for the unmistakable voice that’s deeper than Mariana’s Trench. Sykkuno remembers a lanky tall kid, bit awkward (just like Sykkuno) and bit shy (once again, just like Sykkuno). They usually were talking about video games when they met, but it wasn’t some super deep friendship. One of those “yeah, you are cool, our friend groups overlap” but that was it. Corpse was someone he knew, tall lanky kid, graphic tee hanging from his body type of a noodle, chitchat was easy between them after peeling down the awkwardness.

But this.

This _man_ sitting against is nothing like that. He can see muscles filling out the tight black shirt, facial hair, nice haircut, charisma shining out, someone really cool who Sykkuno would probably spend months mentally preparing if he wanted to talk to them.

_Holy shit,_ Sykkuno thought, _Corpse got really, really hot._

“Hey dude, are you listening?” It’s Rae’s voice that brings him back to reality.

“Yeah! Just zoned out a bit. Sorry. ” He breathes out and gulps down half of his drink. He is sweating. Is this what people call gay panic? God, he fucking hates it here.

After two hours of talking, he is pretty much caught up on everyones lives. All his friends are healthy and thriving. He once again feels like a loser, but whatever! It’s fine! New York might be just some rest point for him! When they ask him about London, he tries to describe the best he can but the longer he talks about it, the more he realizes how shitty he was there. Fuck the weather and fuck the grumpy people. He likes the NY busyness that he was born in and coming back, he appreciates it even more.

Sykkuno keeps talking about New York not being a permanent stop, but this felt….nice. really nice. He felt things settling in a bit. How much he missed his friends and Toast’s jokes and Rae’s and Lily’s teasing comments and Corpse’s amazing storytelling. He feels like things are fine, for the first time he landed.

They wrap it up before midnight, cause they are all semi-functioning responsible adults now. He is going to walk home, tomorrow he is going to answer more questions from his family that he doesn’t want to answer and then his aunts are supposed to show up, which is going to be even bigger torture, cause why not feeling like a failure when you can have a damn audience for it, right?

“Okay, let it out. What’s up?” Lily turns to him mid-walk to the street where she lives. Sykkuno can hear the Kill Bill sirens going off in his head. God, even he doesn’t know what’s up, beside the sky. And that joke is too damn old.

“I-“ he starts, breathing in and out. Lily always calls him out, it’s like there are special Sykkuno focused x-rays in her eyes that can see right through him and through his bullshit.

“Whatever it is, you can talk about it, you know?” She encourages him a bit by touching his shoulder gently and it feels like the last straw.

“I just…hate it. I really, really hate living with my parents.” He sighs, the words leaving his body even before he even realizes it.

“Oh.” She says, unreadable expression on her face.

“They keep nudging me about finding a job and moving on to do something but I’ve been home for a fucking week and I’m still jetlagged as fuck and they are not letting me breathe!” He spills out and is breathing heavy and God, he could literally run into the traffic and scream for days cause life just sucks.

“Dude, that is really shitty.” She says, and there is a hint of pity in her voice and the _last_ thing Sykkuno needs right now is pity party.

“Then…move.” Lily says and Sykkuno stops in his tracks.

“You say it like it’s so simple.”

_Because it is._

“Because it is!” She yells at him and okay, valid point.

“No it’s not Lily, are you missing the whole point where I can’t afford a whole flat?”

“Then find a roommate!” She says, a hint of spark in her eyes. Like she just got a million dollar idea and yeah, Sykkuno will give her that.

“Lily, who even would move in with -“

“Corpse.” She says and oh, _there_ it is. Her million dollar idea.

Wait.

What?

“Come again?” He feels like either she is losing it or he is losing it or at best, both of them.

“Corpse is looking for a roommate. He recently broke up with his girlfriend and wants to move. He didn’t talk about it much today but he has been insufferable with all the apartment hunting…” She is smiling like the damn devil cause she _knows_. She knows she had won him over even before Sykkuno even opens his damn mouth.

“I-…No-…He-“ his ability to construct sentences packed itself and shipped himself very far away and he feels like his one braincell is bouncing very wildly in his mind.

“ _Syk._ It’s literally perfect idea. The perfect timing. Like the stars have moved for this to happen…”  
  
“Okay, I GET IT!” He yells at her and she laughs. And suddenly it hits him - it’s a fucking good idea. He feels like laughing, too. So he laughs, fully and hearty, under the hideous orange light of a street lamp, and for the first time ever since his plane landed, he feels like he is taking a right direction.

That moment, it was a brilliant idea. So it was day later. But then, he realized another thing - he needs to _call_ Corpse. And ask him if he wants to _live_ with him. This is his personalized hell. He can’t speak to his _hot_ friend Corpse that _got hit by another wave of puberty while Sykkuno was gone._

So no. Sykkuno is going to live his life in his tiny room he grew up in, he is going to buy a cat despite the fact that his younger sister is allergic, he is going to die and rot there and the cat is going to eat him. Sounds fantastic. Much better than calling Corpse and asking him to get an apartment together.

But then, he remembers the little family gathering. His aunt’s face when he told her he moved back to New York permanently. Or at least, semi-permanently. And his uncle’s face when he told them he doesn’t have a job right now. He wanted to go to the super mega hell and stay there for good.

Seeing the disappointed faces and the constant hint of “get up and do something” in his father’s voice is like a catalyzer for Sykkuno to pick up the damn phone and call Corpse.

The line beeps once. Sykkuno gets up and starts walking from one side of room to another.

  
The line beeps twice. Sykkuno starts biting his nails, a terrible habit.

The line beeps thrice. His breathing gets heavier, this was a mistake, holyshitthiswasamistake-

“Hello Sykkuno!” says Corpse, light lilt in his deep voice.

“Hello Corpse! I wanted to ask….are you free….this afternoon?” Not that Sykkuno thought about his words, but maybe he should have.

“Uh…yeah I am! Why?”

“Great, would you like to grab a coffee?” Sykkuno freezes after he says it. Why does his mouth works faster than his brain?

“That would be cool!” Corpse is cool about it, thank fuck.

They schedule the details and as soon as he hangs up, he messages Lily.

_‘getting a coffee with corpse, gonna ask him about the apartment situation!’_

It seems like eternity before Lily texts back.

_‘home for a week and already having a date? boy ur quick af lol’_

Sykkuno’s face gets red. No. No no no. He is getting a coffee with him, but he is not _getting coffee with him_. His fingers are shaking a bit when he grabs his phone to type out the message back but there is already another message from Lily.

_‘just teasing u, lemme know how it goes! xx’_

It’s not awkward. Sykkuno spent the whole day stressing but thank god it’s not awkward. Sykkuno is not much of a social butterfly and neither is Corpse, but together, they click. The chit chat is not really painful and talking to Corpse is…nice, actually. They haven’t spoke that much while Sykkuno was gone, cause they were busy with life and now it all came down to sitting at one tiny table in a pretentious corner coffee shop.

“So…” Sykkuno starts and Corpse looks at him. His eyes are encouraging Sykkuno to go on, speak, but also the pretty color is just making Sykkuno feel way too hot in his big peach hoodie.

“I wanted to ask you about something. I was talking to Lily and she said that you are looking for a roommate? Or like someone to get an apartment with?”

There are like three different emotions happening on Corpse’s face, and it’s not like Sykkuno can pinpoint any of them.

“Dude I’m sorry if I crossed over….” Sykkuno starts but Corpse stops him.

“No, it’s okay. It just wasn’t a topic I was expecting.” He says and gives Sykkuno a shy smile.

“Fine. So I wanted to ask if you maybe wanted to….” The damn words are stuck in Sykkuno’s throat, but the situation home is banging together pans and pots in the back of his mind. He needs to say it and he needs to say it quickly.

“Wanted to….”

“Iwanttoaskyouifyouwouldliketofindaplacewithme.”

Sykkuno feels his cheeks heating up so he rather focuses on the foam on his cappuccino.

“What?”

Sykkuno sighs, loudly.

“I wanna ask if you would like to get a place together. Cause I also need to get a flatmate and I’m not really into meeting strangers and living with them, y’know? And you are not a stranger. So….yeah.” Sykkuno lifts his head and meets Corpse’s eyes.

Corpse is _smiling._

“Dude that’s literally PERFECT!” He exclaims, loudly.

“So, I already looked through some apartments, I’ll send you some links and we can check them out together? I’m set on three now but you are gonna be the final help. Also if you have ideas, let me know!” Corpse seems like an overgrown puppy of a fighting dog. That’s it. All that Sykkuno can do is nod and smile. The depth of his voice got some people turning around but Sykkuno feels like they are closed, in their tiny bubble. Maybe Lily is a goddamn genius.

They both seems to be okay with finances for now, but it takes them few days before they schedule the appointment to look at the apartments.

“I’m fucking sure that lady from the company thinks I’m the actual Satan and if she won’t show me the flat, I will sell her soul,” Corpse laughs after hanging up.

“I think your voice is…” Sykkuno is bit tongue-tied with how to continue this sentence without either offending Corpse or sounding really not straight.

“…nice” _well fucking done Sykkuno. Now you just sound fucking lame._

It’s the smile that Corpse gives him that makes his tongue-tying worth it.

“Okay so before we live together, is there like…anything I should know?” Sykkuno shyly asks, cheeks dusted pink. Corpse smirks and smirking should make him look like _asshole_ , not _obnoxiously attractive._

“I am a good roommate! I clean, I occassionally cook, I am a good anime marathon buddy.” Sykkuno proudly states.

“Okay, you won me over. I would love to have a good anime marathon buddy. ” Corpse says, and well, that’s that.

The first apartment is nice, but God, there isn’t even proper phone signal.

“Dude, I can barely load my messages,” Corpse leans to him while standing in the living room. Sykkuno is pretty much impaling the horrendous orange carpet on the floor. There is a weird stain in the corner that none of them want to investigate. The final straw comes when they walk to the first bedroom and the ceiling looks like it’s going to fall down any minute.

They share a look. There is no way they are moving in there.

The second flat seems bit better. Corpse likes the bedroom he already assigned as his, but it all comes crashing down when Sykkuno tries to run the water and it just doesn’t come out. “Yeah, that happens sometimes here, you know, the pipes are really old….” The lady says and Sykkuno looks at Corpse and his resting face seems scary but his eyes are yelling get me out.

“Dude, that’s like, against the fucking regulations…” he mumbles while leaving and Sykkuno nods. No way he will live in constant fear of pipe tearing apart and flooding the whole apartment.

Third flat is…yes. Yes. Sykkuno cannot say anything else. He likes the big windows and light in the whole place, the water is running just fine, the ceiling is holding it together, there are no questionable stains on the carpet in living room. The signal is average even in the kinda wet corner of their bathroom. The wallpaper in Sykkuno’s to-be-room is not a complete living atrocity. Corpse likes that the flat doesn’t feel like a match box (the whole place actually _is_ about the size of a match box. C’mon, it’s a flat in New York. Kudos on the big windows that are saving it). Sykkuno turns to Corpse and Corpse is already looking back.

_This is it. This is the one._

The announcement about moving is not really groundbreaking for his parents. His dad, a good loving guy, seems to be glad that he is leaving again. Sykkuno gives him that, cause it seems like his younger sister is giving them enough hell. His mom looks sad, sheds few tears and kisses the top of his head. “When you came here, I knew you wouldn’t be staying permanently,” she smiles and hands him a cup of tea.

“Yeah, that was the plan,” Sykkuno agrees.

“So…how long are you planning to stay with this friend of yours?” She asks softly while sitting down opposite him, a yellow steaming cup in her hands.

“I mean….we are just moving in. I don’t know?” He shyly smiles and sips tea. He doesn’t like where is this conversation heading.

“I just…” she furrows her brows a bit, looking down into her tea like the tea has answers. Something is coming and Sykkuno doesn’t like it one bit.

“I am just curious when are you planning to settle down.” She says, quietly, the special motherly tone on.

“This friend of yours….is he….are you….” She looks at him and God, this is definitely a conversation he wants to have right now. Or ever.

“No mom! No…he is not….we are not. Just friends. Yeah.” He chokes out and gulps down tea, burning his whole mouth. At least he won’t have to speak now. His mom nods and smiles at him, before standing up to grab them a cake.

Here’s the thing. He did kinda came out to his parents. When he was at university, he got some kind courage kick after talking to Lily for three hours and walked into the living room, sat on the couch and announced it like it was the damn weather update. He looked at his parents and they were looking at him like they are seeing a ghost. He then proceeded to throw up in the middle of the living room. Yeah and he also drank fuckton of gin beforehand, because there is nothing like some good liquid courage. The next morning his mom hugged him and his dad gave him _the dad pat on the shoulder_ and that was it. Boom. Ta-da. He was out.

So when his mom asked about Corpse and him being like this, he cannot wrong her for assuming stuff. Sykkuno running back from New York cause he fell in love with a boy he knew before he left? That shit sounds like a damn Hallmark movie. And also, Corpse is _straight._ Sykkuno is pretty _sure_ he had never heard Corpse speak about men _like that._ Not before, not now. _Not that they ever talked deep about relationships._ The only thing that matters is that it’s time to take his giggly schoolgirl feelings and put them into a box in his head and seal the damn lid forever. He has few days before he moves in with Corpse and he cannot function like a giggly baby in his presence 24/7.

Also he thinks he should tell Lily. Cause as long as he remembers, she was the ultimate listener to every shit Sykkuno had to say in his life.

But holding the phone and looking at Lily’s icon, it suddenly doesn’t sound like a good idea. Talking about his feelings? In this economy? Absolutely-fucking-not. He would be rather swallowed by the earth itself than talk about how warm Corpse’s voice makes him feel, or whatever gay bullshit would his brain provide him with.

The first October air breathes life into their new apartment. It’s not like Sykkuno really unpacked the things and boxes that arrived few days after him. Corpse, on the other hand, seems like a minimalist type of guy. Moving in is not some graceful process. Sykkuno drops a box full with books on his leg, Corpse slams his head into a shelve near the door. It’s not perfect, but nothing is perfect right from the beginning.

They settle in. The first week, it’s awkward. It’s walking on tiptoes around each other and awkward smiles where they meet in the bathroom door. But slowly, they find a system, to co-exist on functional level. Sykkuno finds a job in some tiny graphic agency that is going to pay his damn bills.

Sykkuno finds out some things:

  1. Corpse likes leaving coffee mugs behind. Or tea mugs. Or mugs in general. Sykkuno finds them randomly, little traces his flatmate is leaving behind. Sykkuno thinks it’s a cute habit until he has to wash them all and it takes forever. 



  1. They are both fans of the weird food combinations. There is mint chocolate chip ice cream in their freezer and pineapple pizza on the counter from previous night and some weird flavor of chips that Corpse found in little market three streets down from their apartment complex.
  2. They both prefer cold weather to hot weather. The upcoming winter brings them smiles to their faces, Sykkuno can pull out his big knitted sweaters and Corpse seems to permanently live in a gigantic black hoodie. 



  1. Corpse doesn’t really sleep much. But that’s okay. Sykkuno sometimes hears him in the middle of night, quiet mumbles from his room coming through the shitty paper-thin walls. Sykkuno wants to ask. Doesn’t have the courage. Yet.



Things are good. _Life_ is good.

“So, are you throwing a halloween party with Corpse?” Asks Rae after putting down her overpriced seasonal latté. There is cat from the foam in his cappuccino. It seems to be staring right into his soul, like the damn foamed milk knows some secrets.

“What?” He asks, bit taken back. Why in the hell would _they_ be throwing a party. That is probably the last thing they would like to do. Do their friends realize they are not a party people?

“You have your own kingdom and there is already two of you, c’mon, you haven’t even thought about it?” Rae seems genuinely bewildered that Sykkuno is not bouncing off the damn walls preparing a halloween party.

No. He planned to curl in big blanket in front of the tv and eat some candy because the shops now have amazing sales and watch some horror movies and maybe invite Corpse to sit on the other side of the couch so they can shit talk the horror movies together. It will help Sykkuno feel less scared, but he is never going to admit that out loud.

“Not really. I mean, you know me, I’m not much of a party guy. I’m sure Lily will organize something!”

“Lily is going to call you tonight if I won’t convince you right now. There is no escape from us, Syk.” She says, smiling like the damn Devil. Every day he becomes more and more convinced that his friends are evil. Just a little bit.

“We are throwing a Halloween party,” he says as a form of hello. Corpse is making himself a tea and tilts his head in confusion.

“Are we?” He asks and throws the tea bag away.

“Yeah. Rae and Lily think it’s the best damn idea since sliced bread.”

“And you agreed?” Corpse asks, voice dipping even lower than normally. Sykkuno shivers.

“I- I was cornered, bro! I had no choice!” Sykkuno sighs loudly, something lining with a scream out of frustration.

“Well, okay. Party it is, then.” Corpse says, smile on his lips. He _winks_ in Sykkuno’s direction as he sips the tea, leaving to his room. Sykkuno is bit dumbfounded, standing in one place.

Fuck halloween. He doesn’t even have a fucking costume.

It’s a day of their Halloween party and Sykkuno feels like this might be vendetta for all the bad fucking decisions he ever did. Sykkuno wasn’t really a party animal, per se. He likes his circle of people, he liked hanging out with all his buddies, but a full time party wasn’t really doing it for him. Somewhere around lunch, a text from Lily pinged on his phone with “ _can’t wait! xx_ ” and a selfie attached from Lily, Rae and Poki getting ready. This is fine. His favorite people are going to be there. He is going to get drunk and eat sweets and hope that the party speeds through the night so he can go back to cuddling his plushies.  
  
“Are you excited?” He hears behind him as he is hanging up a string of paper bats. Sykkuno might not be excited for the party, but there is no way he would miss an opportunity to decorate the hell out of their living space with the most useless shit he found in the dollar store.

He is already wearing his costume, a white nurse coat and baby pink scrubs with a fake stethoscope around his neck. It’s cute and most importantly, it’s comfortable.

“Well, I think-“ the rest of sentence is swallowed down, as there is Corpse, standing in the middle of the room in a long black cape and the scariest fucking crow mask Sykkuno has ever seen. What the fuck.

“What are…you?” Sykkuno says slowly, approaching his roommate with tiny steps.

“I’m a doctor!” He says, excitedly, as he takes off the fucking satan’s mask. “A plague doctor, to be specific. I wanted us to match but if I went as a regular doctor, it would be so fucking lame.” He explains, dramatically swooshing his cape.

“That’s…cool.” Sykkuno says and starts laughing, cause they probably look like the most bizarre duo in the entire universe. _I wanted us to match._ Sykkuno looking like a pediatric doctor ready to give out stickers for not crying while taking sampled of blood and Corpse looking like something out of nightmares. _I wanted us to match I wanted us to match I wanted us to much-_

“Hold up. Where is the scary element in your costume?” Corpse asks, curious. Okay, so maybe Sykkuno _kinda_ splurged all his money for alcohol and decorations and _kinda_ forgot he has to buy a whole ass costume. So, this is where his creativity came in. This is where Sykkuno’s lips curl into the most mischievous smile he can make before pulling out fake vampire teeth and puts them in his mouth.

“I am a vampire in disguise!!! I take blood samples from the patients and then I secretly drink them.” Sykkuno explains and Corpse is looking at him with a glint in his eyes.

“That’s….actually genius. You are lucky that you are so cute to pull that off.” Corpse mumbles and smiles at Sykkuno.

“I-I’m going to make punch and you c-can …finish the decoration?” Corpse stutters out and walks into the kitchen, leaving Sykkuno in living room, frozen.

Sykkuno swears he just felt the tectonic plates shift. The earth is going to open and swallow him whole and he is going to fall to the super mega hell. Did Corpse just call him _cute?_ In broad daylight? On a Thursday afternoon at the end of October? Sykkuno needs a drink, and he needs one _quickly._

Several hours later, he finds himself squished between Lily and Toast on their tiny couch. He is holding a drink with a questionable color and even more questionable taste. Someone put cat ears on his damn head. They have been playing charades for what feels like hours, and the drunker they get, the funnier the game gets.

“You look ADORABLE in the costume!” says Toast to him, clinking their glasses together. Sykkuno giggles into his drink, cheeks rosy from both the alcohol and the praises. (Rae and Lily both cooed when they saw him. Cooed again when he explained his costume into detail. Even Felix joined their cooing party later.)

“That’s literally what I said today!” Says Corpse, sitting on a chair to Toast (cause there is only so many people that can fit on the piece of furniture).

“Did you?” Lily’s voice raises up, her voice sprinkled with teasing tone and _oh no. oh nonononono._

__

“Yeah I did,” Corpse tells Lily, brave as ever, and takes a sip from his drink. Sykkuno feels like he is descending down the circles of Hell.

“Sykkuno, what do you think about Corpse’s costume?” Lily asks his, clearly teasing him. Now that Corpse abandoned the damn nightmare fuel mask, he is just sitting in black long cape, skinny jeans and black tight t-shirt that is slightly see-through. Sykkuno feels dizzy, he is on the final circle of hell, but is he going down without a fight? Hell fucking no.

“I think he looks hot,” he says before he rethinks it. Liquid confidence, or whatever they say. He feels Lily freeze next to him, Toast starts full on laughing. He sees Lily in his peripheral vision chugging her glass in once go. And Corpse…..Wait. Is Corpse _blushing?_

“I- Uh- Yeah…Th-Thank you?” Corpse gets out of him, before mumbling something about “getting another drink” and going to the kitchen.

“Are you guys okay?” Asks Felix sitting opposite them, suddenly stopping his conversation with Jack to check on them. Is Sykkuno okay? Good question. He gets up and walks to kitchen to get some water, just to find Corpse doing the same already. They exchange a look, not a morning look of “hi hello you are awake” or “bitch one of us needs to make lunch eventually”, no, this is much deeper and much _worse._

_“_ Are you okay?” They speak up, both at the same time and burst into laugh. Sykkuno’s body leans towards Corpse while laughing, a habit he never really noticed. They are okay.

“Yeah.” Corpse says and looking Sykkuno up and down before stepping closer to him. _Holy shit, what is happening?_ Sykkuno doesn’t move, damn, he might not even be breathing. Corpse is so close to him that Sykkuno has to _look up._ His head is spinning and it’s definitely from the alcohol.

“Can I?” He asks quietly, very quietly, tone much softer, but they are so close that Sykkuno can hear him. Before his brain even registers the words, he nods slightly, without even knowing what is he agreeing to. He can feel his heartbeat and his ears might be ringing and he has zero idea what is happening.

Corpse reaches his hand out and looks like he is going to touch the bangs on Sykkuno’s forehead, and _ohmygodwhatthefuc-_ but changes his mind the very last second and reaches for the cat ears Poki previously had crowned him with. He takes them off and puts them on his own head.

“Thank you.” He says, sudden change of voice to his regular tone. He gives Sykkuno a last smile before returning to the party guests.

Sykkuno is stuck in the kitchen, catching his breath, not even putting together what just happened. But didn’t. Could have happened. _Sykkuno is fucked._

Few days later, he gets invited for a coffee from Rae. The shops finally stepped from Halloween decorations and is now in the awkward mid stage where they don’t want to put the autumnal decor back but it’s too soon for Christmas.

“So,” she stars and Sykkuno feels like he is about to go through some next level investigation.

“How is living with Corpse?” Shy asks, tucking her hair behind her ear. She wants to ask something else, Sykkuno can so clearly see it.

“It’s great. We are really compatible,” He says and see her mutter “I’m sure” but decides to not look into it.

“Okay,” she says, letting a breathe out all of sudden, like she just pumped herself to ask whatever she wanted.

“When…did you want to tell us that you are dating?” She lets out and…. _what._ Sykkuno is lost. So, so lost. Rae might not even be speaking English right now for all he knows.

“What are you talking about?”

“Since when are you and Corpse a thing?” She asks, much more specifically and Sykkuno feels like he is being pranked. Like someone will turn from the next table and scream “pranked ya!”, but nothing is happening and Rae is not laughing.

“Rae…we are not dating?” He says, and he wants to sound like a statement but is so shocked that it comes out as a question.

“Stop making me look like a clown. You two literally left to made out in the kitchen on the Halloween party and I’m supposed to believe you?” Rae looks borderline pissed at him.

“That literally didn’t happen!” He exclaims, feeling bit insane. This is too much, too much confrontation, too many feelings he didn’t want to deal with ever since Halloween.

“Sykkuno, communication is the most important part for you and Corpse to be a healthy couple. Are you sure you just haven’t talked about it properly?” Rae’s head is slightly tilted to side, a consoling tone in her voice.

“But we are not a couple! I don’t know where you got this, but there is literally nothing going on between me and Corpse. We are buddies and roommates and that’s it. For all I know, Corpse is straight.” He didn’t mean to say the last part out loud, but since it was already on his tongue, it slipped.

There is a beat of silence. Rae is starring into the space, face scrunched up in confusion. She then looks at him and yep, there it is, the investigation look is back.

“Holy shit. So you both really are _that_ dense.” She says in pure disbelief after few minutes of the most awkward silence that Sykkuno was ever put through. 

“What? What are you talking about?” Sykkuno has no idea where is she leading with this, but now they have faces mirrored in the same confusion. She sighs deeply and rubs her face.

“Nothing, baby. I’m sorry. Forget it. ” She says, bit hopelessly, before completely changing the topic to latest Netflix show she watched.

The coffee tastes way too sour in Sykkuno’s mouth and it has nothing to do with the coffee. He feels like he is missing something, like something is slipping through his fingers, but he has no idea what is it.

“I am craving pizza,” Sykkuno announced, preparing for their annual Saturday movie night. There is another shitty romcom on their Netflix watchlist and they will open a bottle of wine and it’s going to be a lovely night that Sykkuno desperately needs after a hellish week in work.

“That’s not a bad idea,” Corpse says, looking up from his phone.

“Okay, so what should I order-“ Sykkuno starts but Corpse interrupts him.

“I…I thought we could make it. From scratch.” Corpse says, color rising on his cheeks.

“I’ve never made pizza.”

“Well, that’s one more reason to do it.” Corpse flashes him a smile. Sykkuno feels hot in his green hoodie. After a moment of silence, it hits Sykkuno.

“W-Wait…you were serious?” He stutters out in surprise.

“Yeah, I’m googling a recipe.” Mumbles Corpse while scrolling through Google.

So, that is a thing. That’s _happening._ Right _now._

“Syk, we absolutely got this.” He declares after a while and starts heading to kitchen, Sykkuno following after him.

“Are you telling me you can make pizza?” Sykkuno leans against the counter as Corpse starts pulling out ingredients from god knows where.

“Yeah, it’s not quantum physics. Are you surprised?” Corpse is smirking and Sykkuno leans his arms on his chest.

“No, I’m curious why you haven’t made me a pizza sooner.” Sykkuno says and there was supposed to be a biting tone to his voice but it just comes out as incredibly soft.

Corpse doesn’t reply, now fully immersed in creating the dough. His hands, his _big, big hands_ , Sykkuno’s gay brain supplies. Corpse throws the ingredients in the one big bowl they own and throws a kitchen towel over it.

“What now?” Sykkuno feels bit useless, standing around, but on the other hand, watching Corpse bake spreads warmth through his body.

“Now the magic happens.” Says Corpse, moving his eyebrows.

“Okay Houdini, wrap it up,” Sykkuno pulls on the string of Corpse’s hoodie in a teasing manner. _Quite a bold move,_ Sykkuno’s mind notes and he mentally shushes it.

“W-We have t-to wait an hour,” Corpse stutters, a faint blush on the highest points of his cheeks.

The movie starts, the time passes, the only thing ripping them out from the _horrendous_ comedy is the timer ringing on Corpse’s phone.

“Now the fun begins,” he stretches and plonks the dough out on the floured counter.

“Really?” Sykkuno retorts, and he didn’t want to say it in such suggestive manner, but, well, here they are. Corpse bites his lip and laughs quietly before he focuses back on the dough. He starts stretching it, molding it, folding it over and over. Sykkuno feels mesmerized by something so mundane and he kinda wants to slap himself.

“C’mon, try it!” Corpse says after a while, reaching his hand for Sykkuno. Not that he has to reach far, their kitchen is ridiculously tiny, but they manage. Corpse’s hand covered in flour touches Sykkuno’s hip, Sykkuno’s breath hitches in his throat. He composes himself before he stands in front of the dough and puts his hands on it.

“Wait, hold on,” Corpse is pouring more flour on Sykkuno’s hands and the dough, before Sykkuno gets to the kneading. It’s

“You need to feel the dough! Let me help you,” Corpse explains like a damn professional chef before stepping behind Sykkuno, pressing his body closer to his, and suddenly Sykkuno’s body is caged between the kitchen counter and Corpse. He isn’t sure if he is breathing properly, focusing on the manual job as Corpse’s palms cover Sykkuno’s, more like swallow them.

“Go on,” Corpse says, more like whispers, mouth so close to Sykkuno that he can feel the breath on his ear. Sykkuno’s brain feels very unwell, hyperaware of every single move and breath he takes.

So he moves his hands, and so does Corpse’s.

_You are just friends._ His brain supplies.

_Something slipping through his fingers,_ he remembers thinking while his coffee with Rae. If Sykkuno turned his palms over this very moment, he would be holding Corpse’s hand.

“You are doing great,” Corpse says, interrupting his thoughts. Sykkuno straightens and Corpse moves away. _No, come back,_ he thinks but doesn’t way.

There is something complicated going on in his head. Not the funny flirting and cutesy compliments. No, the thing is very real and Sykkuno _doesn’t think about it_ , simply puts it in a mental container and puts it aside, a worry for himself in the future.

He already knows it will come back to eat him alive in the worst moment possible.

“Dude, do you think we should get matching Christmas sweaters?” Corpse asks few mornings later and Sykkuno spills his milk from cereal all over the tiny kitchen counter.

“Why?” He yelps out while cleaning the mess.

“No reason. We were kinda matching for halloween,” _god, Halloween,_ “and I think it would be cool to continue. Since we are best friends and all.” Corpse says. But there is something different in his tone. Something much, much _softer_ than usually.

It’s too early for this conversation, too early for Sykkuno to start processing any kind of informations or to dig a deeper hole for himself when it comes to feeling much more than friendship towards Corpse.

Sykkuno can feel his cheeks getting hotter.

“Yeah. That would be really cool.” Sykkuno smiles at Corpse and gets a smile in return.

Don’t get him wrong. Matching costumes sounds rad as _hell_ and everything, but the words “Best friends” are bouncing all over his head and it’s really hard to keep it together and to form sentences and shit. It’s the first time any of them dared to put any kind of label on…whatever they have between each other.

Are they best friends?

“Y-Yeah, we are. Or at least, you are mine.” Says Corpse and bites into his sandwich.

Did Sykkuno really say it out loud? Jesus. He moves to sit down opposite Corpse behind their shitty little table. It’s wobbling more than it’s standing, and the white paint is peeling off on the legs, sign of the times on it.

There is silence between them, but it’s nice. It’s comfortable. It’s so fucking _domestic._

“I…thank you.” Sykkuno says, eyes flicking between his cereal and Corpse. He feels warm, very warm, the sun is too warm on a random late November morning and his everything is warm warm _warm._ There is something glinting in Corpse’s eyes, something unknown but still so grounding. The sun is hitting them just in a right way, making them much lighter color than they actually are, shining brighter than the sun outside.

“You don’t have to thank me. I really like being your friend.” Corpse says, sincere and soft, before returning his eyes to his cup of tea.

The thing is, Sykkuno didn’t even had the time on mental pilgrimage to find out where he stands with Corpse. There is so much confusion from Sykkuno’s side since he decided to seal his feelings in case with the heaviest lid on top. But once again, time turns out to be a tricky bitch and randomly unseal the lid, right now, _god he knew it would come back,_ and suddenly he feels, he feels a lot, so much, every word he wants to say tainted with _so much_. So he stays quiet, fear of saying something wrong seeping into his bones. He is sure they are friends. At least. So far, that’s all he ever allowed himself to think about. 

But then he remembers that Corpse brought him a donut yesterday because he went out with someone and thought that it would make Sykkuno smile. _(It did.)_ He remembers how many sugars Sykkuno takes in his coffee ( _Three. Corpse always shakes his head a little bit, saying that Syk is on his way to sugar overdose if he keeps this up._ ). He tells him jokes and doesn’t mind Sykkuno’s laugh, or never said anything about Sykkuno’s habit of leaning into him, awaits it at this point. He always gives him most of the chocolate chips from the mint chocolate ice cream and lets Sykkuno ramble about the latest book he read. (He even gives him his own opinions and arguments.) He is the best person to watch just about anything with, simply because Corpse’s voice makes every single commentary point excellent. He is the first one to hear about Sykkuno’s shitty days and not just because they live together, but because Sykkuno chooses to tell about it to Corpse. Cause he knows there is no one who would understand his thoughts and feelings better.

“I like being your best friend too, actually.” Sykkuno says, slow, words laced with something much more dangerous that he allows it to be. His affection is spilling, overflowing, spreading all over his body, an unstoppable force that makes him feel both very content and very terrified. He should name the fuzzy feeling, the one that makes edges of world round are softened.

It’s simple. It’s like coming home. He

_He is so, so, so in love with his best friend._

Morning sun continues to shine through the windows. The New York traffic continues to be the the loudest thing in the damn universe. But Sykkuno feels the warms in their flat, in their little bubble, like him and Corpse sitting behind this shitty table with chipped mugs and simple breakfast is the center of the damn universe. He likes that very much.

It’s one of those nights. Sykkuno is normally a light sleeper, but there are special nights like this one where a deadline eats him alive or just something bugs his mind, replaying past coversations and decisions and sleep feels light years away from him and it’s not coming closer to him. Not even after hours of tossing and turning. Time, the bitch, doesn’t let him sleep.

The light at the end of the tunnel comes in a form of Corpse’s muffled voice through the wall. Sykkuno stares at his ceiling, thinking. Corpse is awake. It seems like Corpse is nearly always awake, to be honest. But…is Sykkuno brave enough to go to him? Like, talking might help Sykkuno. He doesn’t really trust his brain at 2am, but he is feeling next level restless. If Corpse doesn’t want to talk, he will at least make tea.

He stands up from his bed, and quietly taps to Corpse’s door. The words he is saying are now much more comprehensible, it sounds like some kind of story?

Sykkuno hypes himself up, raises his hands and knocks.

Corpse stops. The apartment quiets down.

There is some rustling before the door opens and _oh_. Corpse is wearing a white oversized t-shirt and dark sweatpants and his hair is bit tousled and he just looks…. _Lovely,_ his brain finishes.

“Are you okay? Do you need anything?” Corpse asks and leans against the frame of his door.

“I-I’m sorry if I’m interrupting you…” Sykkuno suddenly feels that coming to Corpse was the dumbest idea cause the guy was _clearly_ doing something.

“No, you’re good, what’s up?”

“I can’t sleep. Do you maybe…wanna have tea?” Sykkuno suddenly feels so small, head tilted so he can look Corpse into eyes, even though he actually doesn’t want to.

“Of course.” Corpse smiles, closing the door on his room and shuffling to the kitchen. They turn the light on, pull out mug each and put the kettle on.

Sykkuno wants to ask. About the muttered stories in the middle of night. So he does, and if Corpse tells him to fuck off, he will worry about it tomorrow, in the daylight.

“Corpse?”

“Hm?” Corpse doesn’t look to Sykkuno, too busy looking for the tea of choice in their cabinet.

“What are you…doing? Like, I can hear you sometimes, in the middle of night. Who are you talking to? And you don’t have to answer! If this is uncomfortable for you, you don’t have to explain anything.” Sykkuno assures him. Corpse turns around, look of a deer caught in the headlights.

After a moment he sighs.

“I guess I should have told you sooner. I…have a podcast.” Corpse admits.

“What?” Sykkuno suddenly feels the most awake he has ever felt in his whole life.

“I…don’t really talk about it?” Corpse’s words are slow, dragging out of his system.

“That is probably the coolest thing you’ve ever told me. But simultaneously the last thing I was expecting you to tell me.” Sykkuno feels high on energy. The kettle goes off. He hopes that even the shitty light in kitchen, Corpse can see the excitement in his eyes.

“Thank you,” he pours the water in the mugs. Sykkuno grabs his with his sweater paws, warmth spreading all over his body. December is nearly looming over their head. He starts walking behind Corpse, ready to continue walking to his room, when suddenly Corpse stops.

“I…thought maybe I would show you? If you wanna see?” Corpse suddenly gets really shy and Sykkuno wants the laugh.

“Of course I do,” he smiles a little at Corpse, before he opens the door to Corpse’s bedroom.

Last time he was in Corpse’s bedroom, it was just four walls, bed, drawer and fuckton of boxes to unwrap. He doesn’t feel like barging into Corpse’s room felt ever appropriate, but suddenly he is here. Now it’s…different. More lived in. Books, knick-knacks, figurines. There is a huge computer set up with two screens, a professional microphone, the source of light being a lamp next to the computer.

“So…what is the podcast about?” Sykkuno is taking everything in, careful steps into the room.

Corpse chuckles. “Horror stories and unsolved crimes.”

Sykkuno whips his head around to where Corpse is standing so quick he feels like he could have break his neck.

“That’s really cool. It suits your voice a lot.” He says, slowly walking towards Corpse’s bed. He doesn’t know if it’s appropriate to sit down.

“Really?” Corpse asks, curious, as he sits down on the bed.

_He could have sat on his perfectly functioning chair instead,_ Sykkuno thinks.

“Yeah, either Horror or…” Sykkuno starts and hates himself for not simply nodding. That would have been completely okay! But now he started and his gay little gremlin brain is taking his the sentence far, far away from anything Sykkuno ever wanted to say out loud.

“Or…?” Corpse leans closer to Sykkuno standing by his bed, teasing tone in his voice.

“Nothing!” Sykkuno feels his face being redder with every seconds and he hates it. He hates being alive, standing in Corpse’s room, feels like every bad decision led him to that moment.

Corpse, the fucker, bursts out laughing. Like full on slams himself on the bed and laughs loud and clear as if it was not 3am and their walls weren’t actually paper thin.

“Shut up!” Sykkuno barks out but suddenly feels the corners of his mouth going up.

“Sykkuno, are you really suggesting that I should start reading erotica for some lonely horny audience out there?”

“Well, maybe we could afford new fridge afterwards! Our current one is dying.” Says Sykkuno with serious tone before joining Corpse in hysteric laughter.

After they calm down, Sykkuno realizes he actually sat down on the bed and _fuck._ He feels like he just crossed over some metaphorical line, or whatever. Corpse is still smiling at him, light and open and bright and _fuck, Sykkuno is so gone._

“Now you have to read something for me! Please?” Sykkuno asks and goes to stand up, but Corpse looks at him funny.

“Okay dude, I’m going to show you my skills.” Corpse says, a sudden burst of confidence in his words.

“Please don’t say that to me while I’m lying in your bed.” Sykkuno deadpans before they both start giggling again.

Corpse grabs his phone, sits back down on the bed and pats the place next to him. Sykkuno’s brain is screaming at him but he can’t hear anything. He feels like he is in trance, moving to sit next to Corpse.

“I’m going to read you today’s story. Ready?” He asks, bit nervous. Sykkuno gives him the most comforting smile he can make and nods.

Corpse starts reading, a story about a girl wandering through woods when Sykkuno’s eyes start feeling heavy. The sleep that has been walking around him in circles is finally getting to him. Before Corpse finishes the story, Sykkuno is asleep.

The moment Sykkuno opens his eyes, he is filled with confusion. He starts panicking, before it comes to him, talking to Corpse, falling asleep in his bed. He calms down. Until…

Pause.

_He is in Corpse’s bed._

_The arm he feels wrapped around his middle belongs to Corpse._

He is going to pass out.

Before he has time to actually move and think about what happened, Corpse next to him starts waking up. Sykkuno, the fool, the clown, the whole damn circus, turns around. And _oh,_ they are much closer than he predicted.

“Morning,” says Corpse, voice even deeper in the morning. Sykkuno can feel his panic mirrored in Corpse’s eyes.

“Hi.” Sykkuno says, tries to smile, but probably comes out as a grimace.

Sykkuno sits up and Corpse drags his arm back to his body. Sykkuno tilts his head and Corpse seems to be panicking much more than he is.

“Dude, are you okay?” Sykkuno asks, slow and sleepy, morning slowly setting into his body.

“I…I’m sorry if I overstepped, I j-just didn’t know where to sleep? Cause you looked so peaceful and cute and I was happy that you are finally asleep, but I didn’t want to sleep on our couch cause that would completely destroy my spine, and going to sleep to your bed felt wrong so…I stayed here and I am so sorry.” Corpse spills out all at once and Sykkuno is just blinking at him. Why is Corpse apologizing?

“Hey…Corpse, look at me.” Sykkuno says and leans to him, touching his arm. Corpse’s face snaps up, his look somewhat scared.

“Nothing happened. I wouldn’t send you to sleep on our couch, shit, I wouldn’t do that to my worst enemy.” Sykkuno laughs and Corpse seems to be calming down a bit.

“It’s okay. Literally nothing happened. We’re cool, right?” Sykkuno says, words _communication is the most important part_ from Rae ringing in his head.

Corpse seems to calm down and nods, smiling at Sykkuno.

“Yeah, we are.”

And they are.

Christmas takes their flat by storm. Takes the whole city by the storm. The weather channel is predicting one of the worst snow storms in history right before Christmas Eve. Few days before Christmas, Lily, Rae and Toast show up in their flat and all three of them audibly gasp. They were supposed to have like a mini friend Christmas and Sykkuno…kinda forgot that he has to decorate their flat for Christmas, not just randomly buy stuff he finds online at 3am and then give it to his friends.

“Your whole flat is….literally anti Christmas!” Lily screams before she starts scheming stuff with her company. So okay, maybe there is a really, _really_ sad Christmas tree with like three decorations on it and that’s it. Sykkuno was busy with work and it seems like none of them had the right headspace for Christmas, yet.

Not on their friend’s watch, though. Before Sykkuno and Corpse know it, their flat look like the Christmas decoration store actually threw up all over their living room. There is an image of fireplace in their TV to make their whole place look cozy and not like it’s the tiniest place in the whole universe.

And okay, Sykkuno has to admit, it does look _much nicer_. He gets to appreciate the little details when they all leave, after making too much mulled wine and talking for hours. Corpse duck taped some decorations to the walls, there are gingerbread cookies that Lily brought with her and…it looks nice.

He gave everyone he knows socks. It’s practical, and you only start appreciating a good pair of socks when you get older and colder. Sykkuno starts cleaning out, bit tired and worn out after the company when Corpse walks out of his room with a blob wrapped in wrapping paper in his hands.

“I…should we exchange gifts now?” Corpse says and Sykkuno’s breath hitches in his throat. Corpse looks so soft, signature black hoodie exchanged for green one. _That’s my hoodie,_ he wants to say, but doesn’t, cause Corpse looks so cozy in it.

“Help me clean first and then we can, okay?” Sykkuno smiles, thinking like the most responsible adult that he is certainly not. Corpse nods and starts bringing plates to the kitchen. After washing them and drying them without words, Sykkuno sneaks out to his room to get Corpse’s present.

He thought about it, a lot, but thinking leads to overthinking, which brought Sykkuno back to step one. He bought him a little reading light. Corpse has loads of books, talks about them, so it felt fitting. He comes out of his room with wrapped box and sits down next to Corpse on the couch.

“How should we…” Starts Corpse and Sykkuno simply puts the thing in Corpse’s hands.

“Merry Christmas, Corpse.” He mumbles, heat spreading through his body and his cheeks reddening. He slowly starts unwrapping the neat present, clearly much more patient than Sykkuno who would have already ripped the paper apart. He opens it and _gasps._

“This is perfect! Thank you so much.” He says excitedly, clicking the button to turn it on and off. Corpse then turns to Sykkuno, picks up the his package and gives it to Sykkuno.

“Wrapping things neatly is not really my strongest point,” Corpse says sheepishly, eyes lowered. There is way too much duck tape, but that’s okay.

“I love it.” Says Sykkuno.

Corpse smiles. “Merry Christmas, Sykkuno.”

He feels weirdly nervous unwrapping the gift from Corpse. He tears the paper and is met with soft knitted fabric. He raises it in front of him, fully unfolds it. It’s a _christmas sweater._ It has the most cringe design. There are reindeers and snowflakes and Santa and trees and overall, it looks hideous. It’s _perfect._

“I….I got us matching ones.” Corpse says quietly, before sprinting to his room and coming back with the same one, just different color story. Sykkuno could kiss him senseless. He could and it would be perfect and Sykkuno had daydreamed enough about how soft Corpse’s lips probably are and how he tastes and how he kissed. He could kiss him this instant moment, a thank you, a stream of unsaid words, a whole lot of things Sykkuno wanted to say in past months. He could kiss him because Sykkuno is _in love with him_ and kissing is part of that. He could kiss him.

So he does.

Before he has any time to overthink what he is doing, He stands up and takes two steps and grabs Corpse’s face before he connect’s their lips. There is no thinking about his actions, his brain out of order, acting upon his heart and his fucking _feelings_ and he is _so in love it hurts._

He steps back and looks at Corpse who looks the most shocked Sykkuno has ever seen him.

“I’m…I-“ the realization of what he just did start setting in and _Jesus fucking Christ he just kissed his straight best friend and Corpse is going to hate him and-_

Corpse is grabbing his hand and drags him back with force and kisses him. They are kissing. Just like that. And it’s much more than the prolonged peck from Sykkuno, no, this feels like Sykkuno is the main character in coming of age movie and fuck it, maybe he is.

They lean away from each other and Sykkuno has never seen Corpse _this_ happy.

“I love the sweater.” Sykkuno says, cheeks blushing, bit breathless.

“I love you.” Corpse says, simple as that.

Sykkuno can’t believe his ears.

“Say it again.” He whispers, holy shit, this is actually happening.

“I love you Sykkuno. I thought I was so obvious for so long and I thought you would reject me or something and I would be completely okay with being just your friend! It’s just-“ Sykkuno places his lips on Corpse's, just lightly, to shush him.

“You are rambling.” Sykkuno says and Corpse might be blushing more than him.

“I love you too. Loved you for a while. Wanted to do this for a while.” He feels the pure happiness flowing through his body, he wants to scream from the rooftops and on squares and god, the man he is currently holding feels like everything Sykkuno was ever searching for.

Corpse sits on the couch and drags Sykkuno down, probably aiming for Sykkuno to sit next to him, but Sykkuno topples over and lands in Corpse’s lap.

“This…works too.” Corpse laughs before grabbing Sykkuno’s waist and they are back to kissing, a kiss lands on Sykkuno’s cheek, a kiss on Corpse’s nose, temples, forehead kiss for Sykkuno, slowly mapping out the love paths on each other while giggling into each other’s lips.

They have lot to learn, but that’s okay.

They have all the time in the world.


End file.
